
That's what I hate about labels. As a somewhat outwardly femme according to my nail salon and hair stylist, I'm not supposed to want to strap-up and fuck a luscious lipstick, tough butch, or cute boi into a quivering corporal orgasm. Why? Because that's not what most other femme's want to do? Femmes are supposed to be the pillow queens? Well, not this "femme".
Now that I think about it, with the exception of Jordan, all of my long term relationships have been with totally bottom "Butches" and "Boi's"... but not so bottom that they are willing to yield themselves to "the hardware" on a regular basis. Jordan was a wonderful blend of half top and half bottom, so that we both gave and received equally. Actually only one time for each of the others did any of them ever flatback it for the serious girl-cock. But in all other aspects they would all but wear a t-shirt that read "pillow queen" in big girly pink letters, taking everything I offered and begging for more. But that is the secret life of a bottom butch. An outwardly "top" in the streets, ferrally territorial over their girl, a purring submissive bottom in the sheets.
I have an undeniable attraction to Boi's and Butches. They make my blood boil with steamy lustiness. I can also appreciate the totally sexy femininity of a lipstick, as well as all girls in between. I love women. But I have an unquenched desire to do a lot more experimentation with the hardware, and it looks like I am going to have to shed my lust for Boi's and Butches and find a femme who's willing to play.
I recently met an undeniable femme who might just be the one. However, this one does not come without clauses and exceptions. She talks freely about her attraction to -and brief experiences with- women, but she is still hung up on men. Cops, firemen, and paramedics to be precise. She's a "Badge Bunny". I got the badge and paramedic part covered. Hell, honestly I even have the cock part covered... if she can get into girl-cock that is. Every bit of my GayDar pings her as queer. As for my assessment of her just not knowing the totality of her queerness yet, that may just be wishful thinking. She may very well be just another part-time bisexual that will only ever let go of those inhibitions when she knocks back a few. She is certainly not relationship material. And, I'm quiet ok with that. There is a streak of man-whore to my streak of butchness that just wants to be friends-with-benefits.
Last night, I met Nat for shop talk over dinner and desert. We discussed the nuances of harnesses and girl-cocks, techniques, and smut. While that was certainly the inspiration I needed to finally invest in a good leather harness to accessorize the girl-cock sleeping in the drawer by my bed, it left me with a serious case of unquenched desire to put it right to use.
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