Sunday, January 18, 2009

I MISS YOU BABY GIRL


Originally Posted on 5/14/08


Yesterday afternoon, our dog YaYa had gone outside for a quick potty. She took off on a run which she will do now and then. Recently she would spend 15-20 minutes chasing rabbits in the woods behind the house, get bored and come back and wait at the back door. Yesterday was different.

My Ex says that she stayed gone for nearly 3 hours before showing up on the back porch. When she did, she was weak, lethargic, salivating heavier than usual, incontinent with diarrhea, clammy and diaphoretic, and soon began having seizures.

During all of this my phone had died, and I had laid down to take a nap at my friends house where I have been staying. Last night around 7, I awoke from a dead sleep with this gut feeling to come home. I didn't know why. My phone was dead and I could not reach Lenya. I jumped on my motorcycle and headed home. I came through the door and the smell hit me. The smell of death. I looked at Lenya and said something about the smell, but didn't hear what she replied as I walked into the kitchen. What I saw broke my heart.

YaYa was laying in the kitchen floor, in front of the refrigerator. She was unresponsive, ears and paws were ice cold, limbs were limp, her belly was dark and distended, she had been foaming at the mouth, and now her respirations were agonal at 8-10 times a minute. I have no veterinary experience in the world, but every bit of EMS experience I had told me what I knew... YaYa was dying.

I made some calls trying to find a means to end her suffering, clinics for euthanizing, whatever. And as I tried my last resorts, I sat down beside her and put my hand on her chest and sobbed. I felt my baby take her last breath. I silently thanked the Goddess for her mercy, and cried all the harder because I knew YaYa had waited for Mama to get home.

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